There’s a lot to be stoked about as we enter a new year, but sometimes it can be hard to cheer when you’ve got regrets about the past year or worries for the new one.
Don’t let it eat at you. Here’s a few thoughts on dealing with it, instead.
A new year! You’re supposed to be excited, right? And the last thing you want is to spoil everybody else’s good time by moping around – but you can’t help feeling down. The last year didn’t go to plan, you’re not sure how the new one will go… it’s a lot to think about.
I know the feeling. We’ve all got different goals and different battles, but the important thing to remember is that, for the most part, and personal experiences aside – we’ve probably all got the same few things to be thankful for.
These are things I’m trying to do, to look to, to lean on, to help me get through and to push ahead with goals and my health, both mental and physical.
It’s bloody hard, because I’m terrible at admitting when I need help, or that I’m not coping well. A lot of blokes are like that – it’s a known thing. But, I dunno, maybe it’ll help you to see this bloke having a go? I hope so!
Family and friends
Lean on your support network
Your family and mates – they’re your rock. Even if it’s just a quiet nod of understanding from a mate or a hug from the little ones, these moments remind us we’re not solo in this journey.
You know what I do sometimes in the group chats with mates? I go looking for good ad campaigns on youtube about male depression, suicide prevention, that sort of thing, and then I’ll post it in the chat with a little note like “just stumbled across this, powerful stuff. Guys, remember to holler if you’re feeling out of sorts, yeah? Love ya.” – trust me, unless they’re complete tools, your mates will appreciate it. Yep, even the ‘love ya’ bit. And if they interpret all this as a hint that you’re not doing well, that’s cool too. Talk it out!
Health and wellbeing
‘Your health is your wealth’
If you’ve managed to dodge any major health scares this year, that’s a win. I’m in my early 40s now and every day the creaks and cracks and groans are getting louder!
If you’re managing any ongoing issues, well, that’s a display of strength, not defeat. But mate, if you’ve been ignoring them, get your head out of your arse and go visit the doc. We’ve all gotta do it, and if it means more years with your kids – or grandkids! – then you’ll be glad for it.
Let your partner help you, too, even if they’re no longer your partner. I’ve too often pushed mine away, and I’m working on that. You’ll need their help, and they’ll need yours, whether you’re together or not. That’s the mission!
Small daily wins
Celebrate the tiny victories
Properly tiny ones, I mean, because they can be worth so much.
Made a cracking cuppa? Got the kids to school on time? These might seem small, but in the grind of daily life, these are victories worth a pat on the back.
For no good reason, this one reminded me of the Faith No More song ‘A Small Victory’ – so I went and checked out the wiki page for the song, and there’s a quote from singer Mike Patton about the intent of the song.
“It’s kind of about, well my dad was a coach, so I grew up and I always wanted to win. And well, I found out that I just can’t win every game… darn it.”
Poignant, eh?
Learning from setbacks
Every stumble is a lesson
Didn’t hit your goals? Join the club. The real nugget of gold here is what you’ve learned along the way. That’s invaluable stuff.
Can’t remember what you learned? Make another cuppa, head outside with a notepad, and replay the past year in your mind. You’ll probably remember the losses first – human memories tend to focus faster on negative moments – but dig deep and you’ll end up with a few bullet points to be proud of.
Jump into the comments below, actually, and tell me what you’re proud of for this past year!
Time spent with the kids
They grow up fast
This is an obvious one, right? Well hey, look at the previous points above – they’re all obvious, but it pays to be reminded.
Every moment with your kids is precious. Whether it’s reading a bedtime story (the wife’s fave), kicking a footy around, or just watching cartoons together (my personal fave), these are the moments they (and you) will remember.
👇 I lamented last night that sometimes I fall asleep with my little girl, and it pisses me off that I’ll therefore miss out on that night’s “me time”. But as a friend pointed out – sleeping next to your kids won’t last forever, and it’s better than just about anything you can think of.
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Personal growth
You’re not the same bloke as last year
It’s there. You might not feel it, but you changed over the past year, and probably for the better. Every challenge, every setback has added to your story, made you a bit wiser, a bit more resilient. That’s growth that can’t be measured in typical goal-setting.
Not feeling it? Leave a comment below, let’s hear it! But, if not here, ask your mates. They’ll listen.
You survived another year!
It’s no small feat, when you think about it
Let’s face it, being an adult (and a dad) is hard yakka. Sadly, a lot of guys don’t make it. So, getting through another year is itself an achievement – don’t play it down, don’t think . So, take a moment to acknowledge your strength and persistence.
So, here’s to you, mate. It’s not about the goals you didn’t tick off; it’s about the journey you’re on. Sit back and give yourself a nod for the unseen victories. Here’s to a year that’s a bit kinder, a bit brighter, and filled with those small, yet priceless, joys. 🍻
Mike Stevens
Mike is a dad, a motoring journalist, designer, photographer, gadgethead and erstwhile cyclist. Proudly ADHD 💪
News, gadgets, movies, toys, mobility, edc, etc.
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