Don’t groan, blokes. These are solid suggestions – but you’ve gotta want it.
I’m a busy dad, but I’m no bloviating motivational speaker, trust me. Despite my ADHD – or perhaps specifically because of it – I use all of the below strategies, and they work.
But, listen: there’s an overarching ‘rule’ to all of this that you just have to commit to.
Family comes first.
Whether you’re a tradie, a chef, an exec, an artist, a surgeon or a pilot – family comes first. As the idiom goes: when you’re on your deathbed, you won’t be saying “damn, I’m glad I worked so much.” (Unless the only thing you care about is your kids’ financial security, I guess.)
So, when you’re going through these tips, let’s not have any of that “easier said than done” garbage. You got this. But hey, there’s some good news for the exhausted dad: if you do it right, a little extra screen time has been found to be okay – so work that into your routine.
1. Schedule family time
Make lasting memories by setting specific times for family activities in your busy schedule.
Sounds simple, and it is: lock in a specific time for family activities. Daily if you can, but every few days or weekly is probably more realistic for the busy dad.
Be it a weekend picnic, a movie night, or even just the “be there, no excuses!” daily dinner together, having a set schedule helps make family time a priority.
It means that if something comes up at work – a new project, a critical problem that needs solving, a trip away – you can be clear that you’ve locked that time in for family.
Carve it out!
2. Connect with the kids while you’re away
Use tech!
Stay connected with your kids during the day through video calls, texts, or sharing amusing digital content.
What a time to be alive. If you have to be away, use video calls to check in with your kids. Hell, do it from the toilet – they’ll be stoked you went to lengths to talk to them.
If video isn’t an option, sending them texts or sharing funny memes can also make them feel connected to you throughout the day. It shows you’re thinking about them.
Remember, though! This isn’t an all-the-time replacement for together time. This is showing your kids that even when you’re away, they’re important to you. Don’t let “they know” be an excuse. Always show.
3. Be present.
Obvious, right?
Transform the quality of time spent with your kids by being mentally and emotionally present during your interactions. Phone away, fellas.
When you’re with your kids, be with them wholeheartedly. Put your phone away – in another room, fellas, and the smartwatch too – and engage in conversations or activities they enjoy. Let them run the show. Let them make you feel silly.
4. Involve them in your routine
Turn daily routines into bonding opportunities by involving your kids in activities like cooking or grocery shopping.
Incorporate your kids into your daily routines where possible. Whether it’s cooking together, going for a morning jog, or even a quick run to the grocery store, every moment spent together counts.
This is the one I’ve had to work on the most. When I’m throwing myself into some DIY around the house, or just working through the usual chores, I just want it done and finished with minimal fuss. What I’ve slowly-but-surely worked towards, however, is letting the kids get involved.
They’re gonna squash a toe, cut a finger, make an absolutely bloody mess (and probably a fuss about helping to clean it up), but this is the stuff memories are made of. Even if you look back on those moments with a pained “that was a tough day” grin, your kids will always remember it fondly. That’s the goal!
5. Flexible work arrangements
Negotiate flexible work hours or remote options to be physically present and available for your kids.
We can’t all do this, I get it. But if there’s even just a chance you can, then you really oughta talk with the boss about flexible hours or remote work options. Just knocking off early enough to pick up the kids from school and grab a cheeky ice cream, or a kick of the footy, will mean the world to them.
Maybe the best you’ll get is an expectation that you make up the hours later, or you surrender some leave days – but trust me, a few hours each week with the kiddo will be worth a million times more to them than the annual road trip.
6. Foster family teamwork
Lighten household chores by involving your kids, teaching them life skills, and creating a sense of shared responsibility.
Turn chores into family activities by involving your kids. Whether it’s tidying up, or cooking a meal together, it lightens the load and provides bonding opportunities. Fold clothes together! Folding clothes sucks, but it might be fun with the kids.
This one in particular is a great growth tool for the kids, too. Tackling tasks together teaches them valuable life skills and creates a sense of shared responsibility, making the mundane enjoyable amidst a busy schedule – and that’s something they can carry into their adult years.
7. Create traditions
Establish simple, yet meaningful traditions that create lasting memories and something your kids can look forward to.
Establish simple yet meaningful traditions that your kids can look forward to. It could be a bedtime story, a monthly daddy-daughter date, or a weekend DIY project. But, just like scheduling family time, you have to commit to this!
Yes, I get it, your kids do need to understand that you’re often busy securing their future, that you’re working hard for them. But they also deserve to know – through experiences, not words – that they’re the most important thing in your world.
8. Educate them about what you do
Foster understanding and empathy by discussing your work responsibilities with your kids.
We touched on this in the point above. Talk to your kids about your work and why it’s important. Helping them understand your responsibilities can foster empathy and create a deeper bond, while getting them ready to understand the realities of grown-up life.
9. Seek quality over quantity
Enhance the impact of time spent together by prioritising quality interactions over the quantity of time.
It’s about more than just the amount of time spent together – it’s the quality of that time. Make each moment count by being attentive, affectionate, and genuinely interested in their lives.
Even if you have to pretend that their new toy or book is as interesting to you as it is to them, you can do it. Work on those acting chops! But I think you might be pleasantly surprised: a lot of today’s kids’ books are written with mum and dad in mind!
10. Stay organised
Avoid forgotten commitments and last-minute rushes by maintaining a well-organised family schedule.
Maintain a well-organised schedule to avoid last-minute rushes or forgotten commitments. A shared family calendar can be a great tool to keep everyone in the loop. For me, a shared calendar on our phones is the best way to go. My wife loves using our wall calendar in the kitchen, but when I get a client call while I’m on the go, I need to see the family plans before I commit to a new work project!
No matter how packed your agenda, remember that with a touch of creativity and just a dollop of effort (yes, exhausted minimum-effort dadding can actually work), staying connected with your kids is absolutely achievable. Your children will cherish the moments spent together, nurturing a strong and loving bond that lasts a lifetime.
That’s it. 10 points that can change your entire relationship with your kids without giving up your career!
Mike Stevens
Mike is a dad, a motoring journalist, designer, photographer, gadgethead and erstwhile cyclist. Proudly ADHD 💪
News, gadgets, movies, toys, mobility, edc, etc.
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