These past few weeks can get in the bin.
It’s been a rough time to be a parent in Melbourne, that’s for sure. Rough for everyone, of course, I know that. After all, it’s easy as a parent of young children to feel like you’ve got it harder than most – but even single folks and couples without children have gone through their own trauma and pain over the past year-and-change.
But… I think I’d fallen into a trap, in early 2021, of thinking we were through the worst of it. Some days it really feels that things are no better than they were in the long cold days of lockdown in 2020.
Maybe we are through the worst of COVID-19’s impacts in Australia, but these seemingly out-of-nowhere ‘circuit-breaker’ lockdowns and renewed mask requirements can, in their own way, feel even worse.
What lockdown are we even up to?
All of Melbourne recently went through just such a lockdown, for ‘only’ two weeks, and last Friday June 11 was supposed to be a brief reprieve from parenting before the Queen’s Birthday long weekend.
Instead, the universe laughed and threw a curveball at us all in the shape of heavy winds and rain, knocking thousands of homes into the stone age for a few days. We were without power from Wednesday evening until Sunday afternoon, right at the start of an already scathing Winter season.
No power at childcare, no power at the oldest’s school… and so the lockdown continued.
I’m looking forward to Tuesday, that’s for sure!
But… boy oh boy. I’m not saying anything new when I say I’m done with COVID-19 and all these mini outbreaks tied to returning travellers and powerful new strains and failed hotel quarantine programs.
I support my state’s hard-line approach to stamping out the transmission of COVID-19 during whenever there’s a new outbreak, but goddamn it is exhausting.
It makes you think twice about that interstate trip to visit family you haven’t seen in two years. It makes you think twice about making plans. It makes you think twice about making career changes – and of course, let me be clear: I’m well aware there are many who haven’t had the good fortune of retaining secure employment during these times.
So many have lost their jobs, and so many ‘casual’ (what a terrible term) workers have lost whatever little security that type of work ever offered.
So, in terms of employment, I’ve had it good. I took a small paycut in the Lockdown The First, but I’ve otherwise been safely employed. And, since I’m privileged enough to have my own family home with a workspace, and not had to work on my bed while I avoiding seven housemates all fighting for bandwidth and bathroom space, I’d be well out of line to complain about any of that.
I’ve been lucky, but…
The real grind for me is that whole parenting thing.
Every parent knows this pain, of course. There’s really nothing unique about my story. And indeed, I’m reminded again while writing this that I was lucky in 2020.
My partner and I were both considered permitted workers under the law, so our kids were allowed to stay in childcare. I have a few friends who weren’t so lucky – despite working in similar roles – and I felt their pain daily.
Likewise, our oldest only started primary school this year, so we’ve had a largely unaffected schooling experience when compared to last year’s preppies who spent most of their first year of school at home (and their poor parents, oh my god).
Some have it ‘better’, some have it ‘worse’. We were definitely among the former. But we parents are all – I hated it when my last CEO said this to me and my workmates – “in this together”.
It’s been more TV and Nintendo than we’d like our kids to have exposure to everyday…
Is there more?
As a lot of parents will know, lockdown is all the more challenging if you have a child with extra needs.
We’ve established with a fair degree of certainty (but not confirmed) that our oldest might have some attention and focus/grit kinks to sort through, which we’ll be working to diagnose through some upcoming appointments, and that’s really been the only sticking point for us this year. All the rest would be a little more bearable if not for that element, I imagine.
My partner and I both have intense full-time day jobs, so the pressure to perform as expected in those jobs while also being the parents our kids need… that’s been the real battle.
I’ve been practising breathing exercises, attempting meditation, all that, but none of it is a substitute for good rest, a little less work, more time outdoors and a better diet.
But of course, apart from everything else – and certainly not as a ‘solution’ – it’s been more TV and Nintendo than we’d like our kids to have exposure to every day, and more sugary bribes than we’d ever thought we’d succumb to. (More of both for me and mama, too.)
I’ve gained about 25kg since we moved from the inner north and my cycling lifestyle, to the outer ‘burbs and driving everywhere, but I’d say 10 of those new kilos hopped out of Uber Eats and pizza delivery cars in 2020 and the opening months of 2021.
Hang in there baby
…and I can’t really say I’ve done much about it in the past month or two.
Still, I made it a rule many years ago to always think “onwards and upwards”, and “don’t worry about what you can’t control”. These are really the only rules I’ve managed to stick to in most of my life, but hey, whatever helps to get you through, right!
So we stick it out, we look forward to the future, and we do whatever little things we can manage to make the changes we want and need in our lives.
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