Raising a young daughter can be one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. But, depending on your own personality – that is, how ‘in touch’ you are with yourself – it might be more challenging than you could have ever expected.
It probably goes without saying that dads want to be good role models and supporters for our daughters, helping them grow into strong, confident, and compassionate individuals.
So, how do you get there? As with most ‘listicles’, the tips I’ve provided here might be glaringly obvious to many dads, but not so much to others.
Wherever you fall on that spectrum, I hope there’s something useful here for you.
Role model: You’re the first male in her life!
Show her what it means to be kind, respectful, and hard-working.
Your behaviour sets the standard for how she’ll expect to be treated by others and how she’ll treat herself.
For a long time, you’ll be her template for the model man. It’s a big responsibility, really, and you probably know it’ll be the most important thing you ever do.
A final point on this one: Whether you’ve got sons or daughters, how you treat their mother will play a big role, if only subconsciously, in what they’ll grow to expect from relationships. As much as you can, show them you love and care for their mother – even if you’re not together anymore, which is an increasingly common situation.
Honestly, fellas, even if you’re no longer together and it was an acrimonious split, you owe it to your kids to show their mother respect and thoughtful communication. You can do it.
Be present
You might not know it, but there’s little more valuable to your daughter than your time and attention
Kids crave your attention. That can be really bloody exhausting if you’re not naturally a playful type, but remember – it’s not merely the quantity but the quality of time you spend with them.
Whether it’s helping with homework, playing games, or just chatting, your presence means the world to her. Put down the phone (you can do it) and engage fully. I actually find it really useful to leave my phone in my room so that my addicted habit of reaching for a quick look doesn’t get the better of me.
Show her respect
Young girls need to know their opinions matter, even if they seem childish or inconsequential
Encourage her to express herself, listen actively, and validate her feelings. This builds her confidence and teaches her the importance of mutual respect in relationships.
The cool thing about this is that these are often the moments when your daughter will share something secret or special with you – and mate, don’t laugh! One time, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the serious tone my daughter used when listing the names she’d been considering for her a bunny (a pet we hadn’t yet approved…), and she was most displeased. Hell, I only laughed because I found it cute, but it can be quite discouraging to them. Be careful!
Embrace her interests and get involved
Nurture her passions and hobbies
Whether she’s into sports, arts, dance or science, support her interests. Remember that you should be encouraging and supporting her even if you feel out of place in a ‘girly’ environment. Eventually, you might even surprise yourself at how annoying it is that you’re not allowed backstage at your daughter’s dance concert. (There are good reasons, of course, but I was unexpectedly saddened to find I wouldn’t be allowed to help with that part of a very special experience for her!)
Attend her games and cheer her on, admire her creations and take an extra moment to ask questions and highlight your favourite part. Showing interest in what she loves will boost her self-esteem and show her that you value her individuality.
Communicate openly
Keep the lines of communication open, and challenge her!
From a young age, encourage open and honest communication. This means being approachable and non-judgmental, which ties in with my point above about engaging respectfully.
If she feels she can talk to you about anything, it will strengthen your bond and make it easier to navigate the tricky teenage years later on.
Don’t just listen, either: Ask her questions that make her think outside of what she’s usually wondering about, to broaden her perspective and stimulate her curiosity.
Lastly, try to avoid making shit up to answer questions you don’t know the answer to, or saying “because!” – try saying “huh, good question. I don’t know, let’s look it up!” Or, “huh, I don’t know actually; what do you think?”
The dad that reveals he doesn’t know everything raises kids who understand the value of education, knowledge, interrogating ideas, and having informed opinions rather than leaning entirely on instincts – or being sucked into the latest scams on social media.
Foster financial literacy
Teach her the value of money early on
Help her understand budgeting, saving, and the basics of investing. I’m actually terrible at this myself, but I grew up with precisely zero guidance on the value and scarcity of money – which really just reinforces how important this point is.
This can be through simple activities like managing her pocket money or setting up a small savings account. Financial independence is empowering, and starting young sets her up for success.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t also shower her with gifts and treats from time to time… how could you resist?
Encourage coding and STEM
Spark her interest in science and technology
There’s a long history out there of women pioneering in the STEM fields, but in our very male-focused society that we’re only just now starting to break down, we don’t hear about them often enough.
Of course, that’s all changing with modern educational programs, and young girls are now being actively encouraged to get involved in coding, robotics, or science projects. There are plenty of resources and clubs geared towards young girls. This not only builds valuable skills but also challenges stereotypes about gender roles in these fields.
The ‘Rebel Girls’ books are a great way to get her thinking about these things, too.
Promote emotional intelligence
Help her understand and manage her emotions
Teach her to recognise and articulate her feelings. Use books, games, or daily conversations to discuss emotions and how to handle them. This builds resilience and helps her develop strong interpersonal skills.
It’s not always easy, and it can often be exhausting. My own daughter is a real melting pot of emotions, which I’m sure she inherited from me. When she’s angry, she’ll do all the things you’ve heard about: ignore our instructions and pleas to join us for a calm conversation about the situation, stare at us with the most deathly fury while stomping her foot, tell us we’re terrible parents and that she never loved us (ouch), slam her bedroom door (multiple times for effect) and then throw things around her room while screaming unintelligibly. It’s a lot, and as the more hotheaded parent in the house, it’s all I can do to keep my own emotions in check.
Potential diagnoses aside, we’re working to make emotional intelligence a regular part of our talks – so you can do it too!
Support her friendships
Encourage diverse and healthy relationships
This can be a tricky one, given the different beliefs out there – but, to be clear, DadBase has zero tolerance for overly conservative views about gender and bodily autonomy, so we invite you to leave quietly. Now, on with the show…
Help your daughter build and maintain friendships with a diverse group of peers. Arrange playdates, encourage teamwork activities, and teach her to appreciate different perspectives. This fosters inclusivity and empathy from a young age, and the exposure to other people’s experiences will help her better understand her own.
Don’t let that last point be frightening: For many of us, the world as we know it now is very different to the one we grew up in, and some evolve their thinking and perspectives more readily than others. Just… start with being open. Your daughter’s love is far, far more important than whether she eventually evolves into something else.
The big one: Advocate for consent and boundaries
Teach her about personal space and respect
Make sure she knows that her body is her own and that she has the right to say no. This empowers her to understand her own limits and respect others’ boundaries.
It’s hard to know when the time is right to discuss the importance of consent and setting boundaries, but if you’ve been following the above steps, you’ll know.
The Australian government has a great guide on this, actually. Here’s a PDF.
And there we are. I’m keen to hear your thoughts, but please remember: If you’ve got nothing good to say, it costs nothing to jog on.
Mike Stevens
Founder
Mike is a designer and journalist with nearly 20 years’ experience in automotive and consumer technology, editing and leading titles like The Motor Report, CarAdvice, Drive, and WhichCar. He is the co-founder of The Motor Report, and the founder of DadBase.
He’s also a photographer, gadgethead and erstwhile cyclist, and the proud ADHD dad to two ADHD kiddos.
Born and raised in Melbourne, Australia, Mike relocated to Berlin in 2024 with his wife and kids for travel and culture adventures.
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